Top tips to keep elderly parents in own home

Often at times of crisis, a decision is made to put an old person into a care home. Their loved ones panic about their future care and often health care professionals will suggest a care home as the best option, but is it always the right choice?

It is incumbent on all of us to ensure that, even at times of particular stress and illness, we make the right decisions for our elderly parent

The crisis triggers and what you can do to help

These can be illness, or falls, which make everyone wonder if the person should be alone at home any more. Often the problems are smaller, yet big enough for your ageing parent and you to worry about their ability to cope. These can be:

Getting in a muddle with medication:

your parent cannot remember when to take their pills  or whether they have already taken them. There are a number of possible solutions, however:

• Pillboxes with set alarms to remind your ageing parent to take their medication at the right time
• Reviewing medication with the pharmacist, rather than the GP. A pharmacist can often offer very helpful tips, such as liquid medicine instead of pills, if swallowing is an issue and slow-release tablets to lessen the number of pills taken. Their advice can then be reviewed with the doctor
• Ring and reward services, who will call your parent every day to remind them to take their medication, with the added benefit of some human contact on the phone

Catheter problems

• A combination of an ageing parent with a catheter and dementia can be a real worry
• Ask your parent’s GP to refer them to continence services in the NHS, who can help with catheter care

Dressing and undressing

• Arthritic hands can make it more difficult to do and undo buttons, zips and laces
• Ask your parent’s GP for a referral to occupational therapist, who can help with exercises and physical aids for assistance
• There are many useful types of assistive clothing you can buy, from wide pop socks, to velcro slippers, which your parent might be able to manage more easily

Using technology

• Using technology to help keep your parent happy at home can be very effective
• iPads and other digital tablets can be very useful for your ageing parent. They can  use them to do online shopping, which their carer or relative can also help them with browsing and choosing and also for Skype
• Skype is a great way to keep in touch with your ageing parent if you live a distance away

Get other people involved

• Don’t be afraid to ask neighbours and friends to help. Often they are willing to call in on your parent, ring them up, or help with their shopping and chemist prescriptions
• Some might also take food in. You can also enrol in the Casserole Club, which pairs your elderly relative up with a local family, who will cook an extra portion of their family dinner and take it round
• Grandchildren might like to pop round and help their grandparents do their weekly on-line food shop and other shopping and social interaction they can do with their computer

Employing your own carers using an agency

• Most people think that if they employ carers, they should go through agency
• If you do, make sure you shop around for the best people and the best costs
• Make sure you ask the right questions, so that you get someone who is not only well-qualified, but also of the right temperament to suit your parent
• Be insistent on continuity, so that you get the same carers at the same times each day  so that your parent has a routine
• Most importantly, speak to your parent about they would like ideally and try to work around their wishes

Employing carers yourself

• You do not have to go through an agency to find a good carer
• You can advertise locally to try to find someone with not only the right attitude and skills, but also someone with similar interests to your Mum or Dad
• You can contact your local authority to ask if your carer can be trained in lfting and handling and safeguarding. They will charge a small fee, but run these courses all the time for their own staff
• This way you can often get the person you really want to care for your elderly relative at consistent times and rates to suit you and most importantly, your parent

Funding care

• Funding care at home can be difficult
• Some people might be able to get a personal budget, but local authority budget cuts are making it harder to do so
• Decide what you can afford to spend on care and work within those parameters with carers and agencies
• The GP can arrange for care and carer assessments to help with funding

Be creative when planning care

• Try to be creative when planning care
• List the issues which need to be addressed and then think of different ways  to achieve them
• Remember to include people that the older person knows, who might be given something appropriate instead of money
• There is a great deal of assistive and digital technology and other equipment to help you
• Think outside the box and try and keep your parent at the centre of your solutions. Whatever you choose must be right for them and their world

Watch myageingparent.com’s video on fall prevention in the home

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Chris Moon-Willems is a published author, qualified and registered social worker and owner of Relative Matters, an elderly care consultancy. She is a respected voice for older people and those responsible for their welfare, based on her extensive social care and NHS experience and personal experience of caring for her elderly parents. Having been approached by a publisher, Chris wrote her book, Relative Matters-The essential guide to finding your way around the care system for older people, which is currently available on Amazon. Chris has appeared on TV, been interviewed on national and local radio and is an accomplished public speaker. Find out more about Chris by visiting her website www.relativematters.org

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