What you can do when an older parent has cancer

Over half (53%) of all cancers are diagnosed in people aged 50 – 74, with a further third (36%) being diagnosed in those over aged 75. Common types include prostate, breast, lung and correctable cancer

Caring for a parent with cancer presents its own set of challenges, because not only are you dealing with the consequences of cancer, but also the emotional implications of a role reversal with your parent

We spoke to Raymond Leighton about his experience of caring for both of his parents. His Mum died in August and his Dad was recently diagnosed

“I hadtgive up my business while I was caring for my Mum, and had just got it up and running again when Dad was diagnosed. You have to be there for them all the time – it’s 24/7. My Dad was a long distance lorry driver, so he’s a tough guy. And he’s from a generation of men who don’t talk about their feelings. He’d never been ill before he got cancer. He’s getting bladder infections as a side effect of the radiotherapy, but he won’t tell anyone until the symptoms have been there for a week.With my Mum, I took her to the hospital, went with her to all her appointments, whereas my Dad wants to do it for himself. You just have to do what they want you to do – just be there for them. I’ve now got power of attorney for my Dad, so the Doctors can talk to me as well as to him. That’s really helped, because Dad’s stubborn and won’t always say what the matter is. It’s definitely a generational thing – older people keep things to themselves more. Maggie’s really helped me when I needed to fill some forms in. I’m dyslexic and they did all of that for me.”

Maggie’s

Maggie’s offers emotional, practical and social support for people with cancer and their families and friends.

Here are just some of things Maggie’s offers that might be helpful to you, or your parent:

• Specialist Benefits Advisors can help you find out which benefits, and other forms of practical help like parking permits, you or your parent might be entitled to. They can even help you navigate the processes and fill out the forms
• The Friends and Family course is for people caring for someone with cancer. It can help you learn more about cancer, its treatment and likely side effects, your role as a carer, and the impact cancer might have on your life

Maggie’s Centres are warm, friendly, informal places, full of light and open space and with a big kitchen at their heart – a relaxing environment to wait in for your parent’s treatment or appointments

You can always just pop in for a cup of tea, and your parent might meet people just like them, going through similar experiences, and be more comfortable talking to them

Managing Stress, a six week course during which you or your parent can try out various methods of relaxation including; controlling anxious thoughts, meditation, visualisation and ‘quick’ or emergency relaxation.

Getting started is for anyone recently diagnosed with cancer, and their family and friends. The workshop will help you to understand cancer and its treatment – as well as potential side effects, how you can take control of them and general wellbeing

• Maggie’s Centres offer a range of exercise options that might include yoga, tai chi and access to personal trainers. Gentle exercise can help with fatigue, wellness, physical fitness, and also in building people’s confidence to take on the challenges that cancer presents

Maggie’s Centres