Caring from a distance for elderly: personal account

We happily go about our everyday lives thinking of ourselves as invulnerable.

That is until something happens to us or a loved one which forces us to completely change our perspective. I have now reached a stage in life where, with ageing parents, there are serious decisions looming about their health, mobility and how best to support them in the future.

I wish I could spend more time with them, but living several hundred miles away and having children of my own to raise can make this difficult. Plus, I am far from alone in finding myself in this situation. In fact, according to a recent OnePoll survey of 2,000 people commissioned by my company 70% of us admit we feel we could do more to look after elderly relatives, with ‘being too busy’,  ‘living too far away’ and the ‘cost of traveling’ cited as the main barriers.

There are lots of ways of overcoming these hurdles for as long as my parents remain in good physical and mental health. For example, simply picking up the phone and having a chat is a great way for me to keep in touch and ensure they are alright. However, my own experience of temporarily having to look after my mother last year has made me realise just how important it is to act quickly and step in if there are warning signs that they may need a little extra help.

For example, for a person with basic mobility problems the relatively simple installation of grip rails, or the purchase of a walking stick that ensured they could get to the bus stop unaided could help them to remain happy and independent in their home for far longer. Whereas a failure to intervene could quickly see reduced mobility lead to social isolation and in turn additional health needs. This is obviously the negative spiral that we all want to avoid at all costs.

In my case this really hit home when I temporarily had to look after my mother last year after she developed a relatively routine back problem which meant she needed some extra help. It was a matter of just a few clicks for me to have some shopping delivered to her door. However, finding and getting independent feedback on an appropriately qualified physiotherapist on her behalf proved almost impossible when I don’t live in the area.

You see, my mother is amongst the majority (as much as 85-90%) of the general population that do not qualify for local council funding and it was therefore down to her and the family to find a solution for ourselves. As is the case nationwide, almost none of the providers of care products and services in her area even have a website, never mind the ability to purchase from them online.

This is a real shame as I’m sure there are several excellent local providers I’d have been delighted to give my business to if only I’d known they existed. As it turns out I instead ended up ‘kidnapping’ her from Aberdeen to bring her to Berkshire where I was more confident of being able to search offline and find someone suitable.

I am in the lucky position of this being an option and even then it caused unnecessary disruption for my mother who was taken away from her familiar setting and social circle. It was then that I realised this situation where the majority of the population receives little or no signposting towards quality local care providers simply cannot be allowed to continue.

I don’t expect the task of looking after my elderly parents to be simple and I consider it an honour to be actively involved in planning and managing their care needs. However, in a world where we can easily purchase everything from groceries to holidays online, I do think it should be just that little bit easier than it is now to find and manage care at a distance. That’s why I’m very encouraged by the Care Act 2014, a landmark piece of legislation that can improve the lives of the majority of the market that is self-funding as well as those in receipt of council funding.

The Care Act gives individuals greater power to improve social care delivery, helping vulnerable people and their carers to source equivalent services at the best price. It also makes local authorities responsible for early intervention, cutting the overall cost of care and facilitating access to preventative services that help maintain people’s health. It is therefore recognition from government that we need to take a new approach to social care, one that better supports the needs of local authorities and the individual.

In terms of implementing the requirements of the care act I’m particularly impressed by a new initiative that has been spearheaded by Northampthonshire County Council. This authority has been particularly ambitious in its creation of a marketplace for social care services nationally.

The personalised platform will enable individuals and their families to create a care plan online and to then find, purchase and even leave feedback for the care providers listed on there. Furthermore, they can use a credit card to top up an existing budget, wherever they happen to be located. It truly has the potential to revolutionise the options for those of us who want to support our parents and find time or distance a challenge. However, it can only work if individuals and suppliers embrace it.

With busy lives and an ageing population, social care will always be one of the biggest challenges both for the state and the individual. However, initiatives such as this can make it that little bit easier for us to ensure family get the help and assistance they require.

We offer an expert care advice service

Grace Consulting provides affordable fee-based independent advice to help you choose the best care option to suit you and your relative’s needs and wishes. Our Care Advisers provide the knowledge and support you need to make the right decision for you and your family. myageingparent.com is partnering with Grace Consulting, the UK’s leading provider of personalised independent care advice, who, for over 40 years, has specialised in finding the best possible care for older people. Please note this is not an Age Concern or Age UK service.

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Lyn Duncan is CEO of ecommerce and cloud technology specialist cloudBuy. For more information, please visit www.cloudbuy.com