The Joy of Caring for Others
As we grow older, we start to witness the unfortunate and often distressing decline of our parents’ health.
They aren’t as active as they once were, or maybe their memory isn’t as good as it once was. So we start to consider the future and what challenges it may bring. Having been brought up on a farm myself, I’ve always been around very active and healthy parents, so caring for one of them never entered my head. It was only when cancer struck that my world came crashing down and the cruel reality set in.
My parents aren’t going to be around forever and they are most likely going to need my help as they become less independent. This caring role will be difficult at times, but will also bring joy in caring for others.
As children leave home. caring for our parents often begins
When our children have grown up and moved out of our homes, we believe that this is the time that we can start to focus on ourselves again and to start doing all the things that we were looking forward to doing in our retirement. However, as our parents are living longer and many couples are having children later in life, the reality is, we often find that when our children leave home, it’s now time to care for our parents, giving us very little time to live our own lives.
Whilst caring for a loved one may not have been part of our plans for the future, I never cease to be amazed to hear that many people find this experience to be one of the most rewarding and meaningful things that they have done in their lives. Of course, it can be upsetting, frustrating, sad and emotionally draining but being there to help your parents at this time of their lives can bring closeness and honesty to our relationships which may not have been there before.
Caring for your loved ones can lead to caring for others
When you have the good fortune of providing one to one care to a family member, you can sometimes feel a bit lost when your care and attention is no longer required. It may be that the person who you were caring for has sadly had to be moved to a nursing home, or worse, they have passed away.
You may feel a sense of fulfilment to continue and you need to find your purpose again. Many people in this situation have no idea what to do next in their lives and struggle to find meaning and direction.
Some people in this situation consider working as professional carers and having had their own personal experience of this, can make an amazing difference to the lives of others, not just to those they care for, but also to their families, because they are there as a support for them too, listening to their worries and reassuring them when they need help. Often, these people make the best carers, because they can empathise with the sons and daughters who are going through the same thing that they have gone through themselves.
What sort of person makes the best carer?
You can never generalise when it comes to who will make the best carer for older, vulnerable people, because in my experience, I have met some fantastic younger care workers who have an amazing sense of maturity and compassion for older people. They bring life and colour to homes,. they bring the innocence and fun of youth. That said, more mature care workers bring life experience and a true empathy, which is vital to the care sector.
Older people need to know that they are being understood and I think it can be more challenging for younger care workers to truly understand the difficulties and frustrations that the older generation face. More mature carers have often had this experience of helping their own family members in a crisis, they have lived through dramas and illnesses of their own and are so much better equipped to deal with those of others. They are more experienced, have a practical, mature outlook on life and little things don’t seem to worry them as much as maybe they might if they were just starting out in the world of work.
Having had my own experience of caring for a family member, I felt the need to be a part of the care sector, so I joined a company call The Good Care Group, who provide quality home care services to enable people to continue to live well in their home for longer and avoid the stress of moving into a residential care home.
The benefits of caring for someone in their own home
Becoming a carer for someone and living in their home for periods of time isn’t for everyone, but when I hear about the joys, the achievements, the sense of fulfilment from the carers who work with us, I know that it benefits not only the person who requires care, but also the carers too.
When caring for a vulnerable person in their own home, you literally give them back a life. You enable them to continue living their lives in the way that they want, to enjoy all of the things that they are finding more difficult to do on their own.
You become a friend, a companion, a confidant, an enabler. You promote a better quality of life for those you are caring for and build positive relationships with clients and their family and friends.
How to go about becoming a carer for others
There are so many people who need our care and attention who are unaware of what is available to them. There are also so many people who have cared for others who have never considered taking this vocation on in a professional capacity but my advice would be to do your research: and find a company:
- with the same values as you.
- who will not compromise on quality and find a company that considers your health and well-being as important as that of the person you will be caring for.
- who allows you to have a work life balance. Working for 3 months solidly as a live-in carer is not a good work life balance, nor is it conducive to quality care.
- that values you and offers you more than just minimum wage.
- that will invest in your training and development and who will guide you to hone your skills to become the best that you can be. Yes, you have some experience of caring for a member of your family but to provide support to someone in a professional capacity means that you will need to follow certain regulations
- who will support and coach you
I recently asked one of our live-in carers, who had had a varied and rewarding career outside of care, why she had decided to become a live-in carer with our company. This is what she said:
‘’To make a difference to others and to improve their lives in significant ways as a direct result of my support. To interact with people in order to enrich my own life, as I learn from everyone I meet. Live-in care provides a continuity of care and a good live-in carer will quickly gain an understanding of the person they are looking after and will be sensitive to their feelings and moods. With the support of a live in carer, many people feel less lonely and vulnerable. In turn this often promotes an improvement in both the mental and physical wellbeing. They are less likely to suffer accidents or falls than those in care homes. Also I believe that Live-in care offers peace of mind for everyone. The family has peace of mind knowing that their loved one is being cared for 24 hours a day and that they have the freedom to visit and call whenever they want. People receiving care at home feel safer, more relaxed, more confident and often happier.’’
The healthcare sector gets so much publicity these days and often, it is not always positive. There are many positives to quality care. It is available and it is achievable. It is all about knowing where to go and what to look for.
Paula Smith is Head of Recruitment at The Good Care Group. If you would like to find out more about the rewarding role as a carer, please contact Paula on 0203 7287570 or email [email protected]
