Elderly suffer due to children’s busy lives

Loneliness among older people exacerbated by distance from family

The pressure of their grown-up children’s work and family commitments is taking its toll on the nation’s older people with a new report by older people’s charity WRVS identifying 363,176[1] have children too busy to see them

The report reveals the fragmented nature of families today and the large number of over 75 year olds whose closest children live a substantial distance away from them. For ten per cent of older people, their nearest child lives more than an hour’s drive away (40 miles plus)

Distance clearly has an impact on how often older people see their family, with the frequency of grown up children visiting their parents decreasing the further away they live: of those whose children live an hour’s drive away or more, almost half (48 per cent) are visited just once every two to six months

Declines in job security and labour-market restructuring have increased pressure on the family and reduced location choices – 82 per cent of children who have moved away from their older parents have done so for work reasons

David McCullough, chief executive of WRVS, said: “This research casts light on the state of the modern family. Many children have no choice but to move away from their older parents because of work or family reasons and really regret the fact that they aren’t close enough for more regular visits to alleviate their parent’s loneliness. There are solutions though that will give older people the support and companionship they need and their children the reassurance that their parents are being looked after. WRVS, for example, has thousands of dedicated volunteers who can pop in to read to or run errands for older people, or simply have a chat and a cup of tea. At this time of year, with Christmas approaching, older people with family living far away may be feeling even lonelier and so services like ours are even more vital.”

While the vast majority (93 per cent) of older people feel that their grown up children see them as much as they can, 17 per cent would like to see their children more often and this increases the further away that their children live from them. Sixty seven per cent of those that live 200 miles or more away from their children would like to see more of them

According to the report, how close an older person lives to their children and how often they see them, has an impact on how isolated and lonely they feel – older people who see their children once a month or less are twice as likely to feel lonely than those who see their children every day

Nearly three-quarters of over 75s that live alone feel lonely. Worryingly, those people who live alone are in face to face contact with their children less often than those who live with their husband or wife

Previous research[2] has shown that, for half of older people, the television is their main company. And it has been proven that loneliness has a knock on negative impact on older people’s health

The majority of older people, who ever feel lonely, have not told their children that they are feeling lonely (61 per cent). This is mostly because (69 per cent) they say that they don’t want to bother them. This is particularly worrying at Christmas; the research found that many older people are resigned to spending Christmas Day by themselves, with 230,000[3] saying they will spend the day alone this year

The research reveals the reasons behind the changing social geography of families and the emerging use of technology for keeping in touch. It shows that:

Forty per cent of older people speak to their children on the phone every day (only 28 per cent in Scotland and 37 per cent in Wales)

However, seven per cent of older people never speak to their children on the phone

Eighty five per cent of people that use Skype say that it helps them feel more connected. However, there is recognition that it’s not the same as seeing your children (87 per cent)

The majority of older people do not use Skype to talk to their children (95 per cent). This is because, for many (42 per cent) they don’t know how to use it

The regularity of Skype use varies across the nations: in England 21 per cent, of those who use Skype, do so weekly, in Wales it’s 38 per cent and Scotland 75 per cent

This new report emphasizes the findings of previous WRVS research[4] which highlighted the acute problem of loneliness in amongst older people in this country. Twenty two per cent of older people[5] feel lonely and this varies across the country, with Scottish people reporting the most loneliness (27 per cent of older people), compared to 22 per cent in England and 17 per cent in Wales

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WRVS has been helping people in Britain for more than 70 years. 
Originally set up as the Women’s Voluntary Service in 1938, the charity played a crucial role during the Second World War.
Whilst keeping the same values of community service, WRVS has now focused its work on helping older people to remain independent and get more out of life.
WRVS is one of the largest voluntary organisations in Britain with over 40,000 men and women helping people in their homes, the community, hospitals and in emergencies.
WRVS has Investing in Volunteers status in recognition of its good practice and effective volunteer management.
For more information on WRVS, please visitwww.wrvs.org.uk