Prevent elderly loneliness at Christmas

Christmas is traditionally when families come together and whilst it is a magical time for children, it’s important to remember the wellbeing of older members of your family and neighbours during the festive period too

Sadly, 500,000 older people will spend Christmas alone this year; not only struggling to cope with escalating heating costs, fuel allowance cuts and the tough winter predicted but also by the absence of human company

Isolation and loneliness is the reality of many older people all year round too, not just at Christmas, with nearly one million older people in the UK living isolated and lonely lives.  A million more feel trapped in their own homes and one in five older people see other people less than once a week

Whether you’ll be welcoming an older relative to spend time with you this year, or sending festive wishes further afield, Jenny Sykes, Director of Operations at Friends of the Elderly, suggests considering the following to ensure it’s a happy, healthy time for everyone

 If older relatives are spending Christmas with you:

• Think about eating and dietary requirements beforehand. Sometimes older people may have particular needs
• We all like to give as well as receive.  Can you help with shopping or by wrapping presents for the older person to give
• Speak slower, louder and distinctly to people who are hard of hearing but not in a childlike way
• Be understanding of older people’s needs when it comes to the TV volume
• Think about downstairs accommodation if possible if your relative is staying with you
• Many older people need to sit in a comfy chair
• Don’t rush older people
• Think about games and activities that are inclusive to all generations
• Older people may not want to join in everything, but will enjoy watching
• Older people love spending time with younger members of the family – don’t assume they won’t be interested in hearing about the latest computer game. Ask them!
• Ask older people about their own memories and experiences of Christmas

If you have older relatives who are not spending Christmas with you:

• Try to visit when you can
• Presents of small luxury items are usually very welcome, e.g. jams pickles and other non-perishables
• Can you help with their Christmas card writing – could you do the envelopes?
• If relevant, ensure your relative has enough medication over the holiday period
• The build up to Christmas can be a lonely time when everyone is so busy so don’t forget to give them a call
• Ensure that your older relative’s home is adequately warm and their home is secure
• Keep your relative informed you hear about any seasonal scams that could be targeted at older people
• Offer to help with shopping

There are severe social, health and financial consequences to isolation and loneliness

Researchers rate it as a higher health risk than lifelong smoking or obesity.  Isolation can happen to anyone at any time and often people are unprepared for how to face it.  Our breakdown in society with widely dispersed family members often means that through illness and/or bereavement people become isolated

Isolation can be halted through better state and voluntary intervention and recent research has shown us that 64% of people believe it is the family’s responsibility to look after older people

As a society we need to encourage communities and neighbourhoods to interact with older people who are living close by.

Everyone can make a difference – simply checking in on an older neighbour regularly, popping a card through their door, or having a chat with an older person at the shops only takes a moment and can make a real difference

You could check with local groups/churches to see if you can help out over Christmas or on Christmas Day (there may be lunches laid on that need volunteers, transport needed, etc.)

Or volunteer with, or donate to Friends of the Elderly or text Friends to 70007 to make a £3 donation

In our ageing society isolation will become more common, but we can all play a part in preventing vulnerable people from suffering its consequences, particularly at Christmas time.  If we all do a little bit then a lot will get done

Jenny Sykes is Director of Operations at Friends of the Elderly, where she has worked  since 1997 in a variety of roles, becoming Operations Director in October 2010. Before joining Friends of the Elderly Jenny worked in insurance and for various other charities.  Jenny says “In a world where older people are often neglected and unloved I work for an organization that turns this on its head. Great people work for Friends of the Elderly and we really make a difference. When I am 80 I hope I will still be able to do the things I love – being with my family, having meaningful things to do and enjoying various hobbies”. Friends of the Elderly has been providing care homes and community services such as telephone befriending, home visiting, and grant-giving for over 80 years.  The charity helps thousands of older people to avoid and overcome loneliness and isolation each year.  Please support Friend of the Elderly’s ‘Friends Open Doors at Christmas’ campaign by donating at TEXT 70007 , or find out more about volunteering and befriending opportunities at www.fote.org.uk/support-us