Top tips for grandparents looking after grandchildren
Looking after the grandchildren isn’t always easy
- Keep advice to a minimum Having had children yourself, you can use your experience to help your son or daughter but be warned – don’t offer it if you are not asked unless you really feel you need to. Try not to be too dictatorial, they may opt to do things differently which you must appreciate. This new stage means many visitors and lots of attention on the baby so be intuitive and resourceful and offer help when needed.
- Reward and treat carefully Treating your grandchild and making them smile is what everyone wants. However, buy things in moderation and with the clearance from the parents. Overdoing treats can become more of an expectation rather than a reward.
- Grand-parenting vs. childcare You may find at times you are asked to be a child carer. It is really important to find the time to spend with your grandchildren. However, know when it’s too much for you and be fair to yourself too.
- Brainstorm day trip ideas with your grandchild. Let them be involved so you end up doing what they truly would like to do (within reason!). There are lots of things you can do for little money like going for a walk in the woods using a compass and map, having a home-made picnic in the hills, making a campfire in the garden, cooking and arty things
- Reading Record yourself reading a few of your favourite children’s books and send the recording along with the books, or make a tape of songs you would sing if you were together with your grandchild for holidays.
- Share Treasured Keepsakes Don’t litter your home with trinkets unnecessarily, but a picture is pretty worthless unless it’s seen. Display the things you are proud of or that impart a vision of the past — a plaque, medals, a painting, anything of yours that you’d like your grandkids to see. Keep photo albums available on a prominent bookshelf or a coffee table.
- No Favourites This Rule is a Golden One: Do not play favourites amongst your grandchildren. In reality it may be that you do click with one grandchild over another but it is essential that you do not let any preferences show. Children pick up very quickly if they are the favourite or not and it can affect a child’s self-esteem and can result in long-term negative feelings and jealousy between the children themselves.
- Love To love and accept love from a grandchild is magnificent and inevitably this comes with responsibility. Not the type of responsibility that parents have, but more of being part of a ‘team’ to support the foundations of a healthy child. The young brain develops and changes at an incredible rate whilst learning and soaking up new information and experiences, but this means they are vulnerable to negative input which can have an adverse affect on their well being. This is why a child needs love, encouragement and sensible boundaries in order to mature into a well balanced adult and this is something the whole ‘team’ can help with. However, remember that a team only works well when working together, so agreement and clarity are always needed.
