Fear of Arranging a Funeral
Is someone you love about to die?
If you have ever been in a position where someone you are very close to is in ill health and might not have long to live, you might find the following advice helpful
What do I do?
Firstly, I think it is only you who truly knows what is best at this point, but it is always good to talk to your friends and other family about it. It might not be to take instructions or even advice but it can be good to just talk, as it can work wonders for releasing anxiety, stress and fear
It will be a good idea to take a lot of time to spend with your ill or dying friend / family, as it is most likely they will be feeling lonely and scared. Spending time with them will help them through a difficult time and will help you too, as you will feel you have done everything you could. After all, wouldn’t you like friends and family to do the same when you are close to the end?
Coping with the inevitable
Once you have lost your loved one, it will be a very difficult time for you and you must allow yourself time to grieve
Unfortunately, however, at this hard time you may be given the task of organizing the funeral. If you have never done this before, it can seem like an impossible task and it all has to be done in a matter of days. Thoughts of getting it right or having the energy to get it right can make you very anxious at a time when you are least able to cope
Top tips on what to do when arranging a funeral
- Let close family and friends know, so that they don’t find out by accident and it gives them maximum amount of time to plan for the funeral. They might also be able to help you with all the tasks ahead
- Gather together paperwork, such as the deceased NI number, NHS number, date and place of birth, date of marriage or civil partnership (if applicable and their tax reference number
- Inform the GP, if they don’t already know
- Get a death certificate from a doctor and register the death before 5 days in the UK, or before 8 in Scotland
- Find a funeral director to help you. This should make the whole process should be a lot easier, as they will take care of most of the things from here and let you know of any other tasks you need to carry out.
Remembering
It is up to you how you remember the person. Some opt for a burial and some opt from cremation. Whatever you choose, the only thing that matters is you doing what you think is best
If cremating, you should know that if you choose to scatter the ashes, there may be some rules or regulations so always check up with the relevant authority before taking action. You could always keep the ashes and have family come to visit to pay tribute every once in a while, which can be a great way to keep in touch and maintain strong family bonds
Another option would be to erect some sort of memorial in the form of a bench or even growing a tree in honour of the person. The possibilities are almost endless.
Just remember that you’re not alone in dealing with such a traumatic event . There is nothing you can do to prevent it, as death is a totally natural stage of any person’s life. The fact that we have the chance to live and receive love from anyone is a blessing, which we should be thankful for, even if that is something we find hard to remember at the time of bereavement
Tony Reddington runs Arrangeafuneral.co.uk
