Knowing elderly are OK from a distance
Mum falling, dad becoming ill, gran having a fire, are all events that suddenly make us leap into action as individuals or families. These ‘events’ create stress and worry and force us to make decisions probably at the worst time, with little information or knowledge of the best way forward
But usually there is a time, long before these events, that our concern for our ageing mum and dad reaches our consciousness. We become aware that Mum is looking old, Dad is less confident, Gran is more forgetful, that niggle in the back of the mind says ‘things are not what they were, maybe we need to start doing something’
In previous generations, the norm was large families living within close proximity, meaning on a daily basis everyone was aware of how loved ones were. Modern living has changed this to smaller ‘nuclear’ families, with multiple generations, geographically spread across the world, leading hectic lives
Despite there being more forms of communication than ever, the older generation are often excluded from the latest technologies. Combined with the ever-increasing pace of life and living increased distances away, many families are unaware of how ageing loved ones are at any one time
The first thing to understand is that nothing replaces direct contact, personal calls and visits give you and your family first hand knowledge and understanding. However, that is not always possible so how do we know , rather than hope , that our loved ones are OK each day
The key is to be aware of what tools are available to help you, your family and your ageing relatives. It is also essential to be aware that things will change. Mum may fall more, dad may get increasingly less confident and gran will get more forgetful so you have to understand that a service may only be right for a part of the journey and may need to be supplemented or replaced as time passes
Take care that there are some tremendous gadgets and Internet technologies that promise great things, but for the older audience, introducing technology can be a barrier. A mobile phone may be great for you, but for your mum there might be irrational fear and aversion to technology. For example, my mum ,Iris, is a sprightly 82, I bought her a mobile phone in 2001 with £20 credit, 13 years later it still has over £10 credit left, it goes with her when she leaves the house but its never turned on or charged yet my mum-in-law happily texts all day
It’s also important to realise that a service that gives you peace of mind may send a signal to your parents that you feel they are getting old and need care…. this is unlikely to be their view, so tread carefully
With that all said there are concepts and services that provide stepping-stones through the journey of concern which can help in the reality that we live hectic lives and increasing distances away but still love our ageing parents, lets look at a few of these:
- Mobile phones: check out simple phones from people like Doro. Many of these phones will have an emergency button which contact a list of people you set up in the phone
- Smartphones & Tablets –email, facebook, skype etc all have benefits but be patient. Focus on one thing at time over a reasonable period and keep re-enforcing the operation. Simple games can help getting used to touch screens and build confidence but turn off links to in-app purchases and ads that can leave mum stranded on some weird web site. Think about using the grandkids to introduce technology, they may be more successful than you
- Monitors – Monitors are services that look for events happening and will send out messages or alerts. These fall into different categories:
- Family monitors – services like our own 3rings falls into this category, nothing is installed in your loved ones homes all they need is a good old fashioned phone. From a single call to or/from them each day by 3rings all the family get updates or alerts on their smartphone, tablets or browsers with emails, push notifications texts and calls. This way all the family knows each day that their loved ones are OK regardless of distance
- Personal Alarm Monitors – Should your loved ones be prone to falling or are frail, these are the red button services. Loved ones wear a pendant or wrist strap with a red button that in an emergency can be pressed. This is linked to a call center who can talk to your loved one and if necessary call emergency services. These services are increasingly being extended to include monitoring of temperature, movement, CO2, fire, water and fall detection
- Fall Detectors – There are an increasing number of devices and apps which send out alerts if a fall happens. The red button services are ok in the home but new variants are starting to arrive on the market that work outside the home providing alerts and GPS Tracking
- Trackers – GPS trackers can have boundaries set and alerts sent should your loved ones stray beyond the boundary. Clearly big brotherish but for parents with dementia this may help
- Care in the home: Keeping independence is critical, more services
The key is to be prepared for the journey before the negative events happen, services can help and by introducing them early it makes life easier for you and your loved ones.
We sell 3 Rings in our shop. Take a look HERE As seen on Dragons Den
